Parenting

What is Positive Discipline?

Positive discipline was developed by Jane Nelson, and is an approach to parenting that focuses on connection, teaching valuable life skills, and considers the needs, thoughts, and feelings that underly behaviors. Parents are also encouraged to notice their own feelings, beliefs, and reactions to their children’s behavior. There are many positive discipline tools, so parents can try different things and learn what works for them and their children.

The five criteria for Positive Discipline are as follows:

1. Is Kind and Firm at the same time. (Respectful and encouraging)

2. Helps children feel a sense of Belonging and Significance. (Connection)

3. Is Effective Long-Term. (Punishment works short term, but has negative long-term results.)

4. Teaches valuable Social and Life Skills for good character. (Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, accountability, contribution, cooperation)

5. Invites children to discover how Capable they are and to use their personal power in constructive ways.

How Can Positive Discipline Help?

I honestly think that anyone who is in relationship with another person can benefit from Positive Discipline. Some of the ways I use it most often, are to help parents explore the needs that their children may be expressing when they “act out” and develop a toolbox for meeting their children’s needs and responding to challenges in the moment. While Positive Discipline can help parents deal with challenges, I think of it as a guide for navigating the parent-child relationship, as an approach to thinking about parenting, and a way of showing up as a parent.